Jan 29 2010

Article XII – In Which Batman and Leonidas Team Up to Fight DRAGONS

I know this title puts in your head perhaps the most awesome image of all time, but please, I need you to settle down.  This column isn’t going to write itself.  I say that because I’ll be damned if I let some tin can machine robot monster take my job.  Even if it can do it more efficiently and always on time and better and grammatically correct – er.  Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.  And I’m stuck with you.

Reign of Fire was a movie made in the past (2002) about the future (2008) which is now our past.  If you’re confused, raise your hand.  You, you, and you – get out.  There’s no room in this class for idiots.  The movie is 102 minutes short and has dragons in it.  Do I really need to write the rest of this review/article?  The things I do to make you people happy. Continue reading

Jan 29 2010

Taking Stock 1/28/2010

We enter another week of “Taking Stock,” our weekly column in which the entire staff tells you what they think of the movies coming out this week based on very little knowledge and first impressions.

Edge of Darkness

James:  I’ve heard the miniseries it’s based on is pretty good, but that it might not adapt well to a feature film.  But it’s great to see Mel Gibson get back to acting, so I think I’ll be down at some point.

Benn:  It looks like a mediocre crime drama, but I love me some Mel Gibson and Ray Winstone.  I won’t be running to the theaters for this one, but I would certainly be down to see it.

Dylan: I like me some Southie Boston films; the more you can barely understand the dialogue, the better. Looks like the average revenge film. I’d be interesting to see if it takes any twists or if it sticks with a typical ending.

Fil:  Looks like fun to me, I’ll probably end up renting it.  I’d see it in theatres if he was carrying a broadsword on the posters. Continue reading

Jan 27 2010

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

When a literary classic is adapted, particularly a children’s book with plentiful illustrations, there can be a lot of demand for the film to live up to the memories of our childhood, both in tone and quality.  No, this article will not be about Where the Wild Things are, though the film was a favorite of mine this year.  Instead I’m going to take a look at the children’s book adaptation that many viewers thought they would hate after seeing the previews, and see how it really turned out first hand.  How did Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs really turn out?

In talking to friends, there seems to be a lot of misconceptions about this film.  The fact that the visual style was such a departure from the book’s illustrations was certainly jarring upon first seeing the trailers, and it’s comedic/slapstick tone also seemed to counter the more serious, storytelling mood of the book.  While both of these things do in fact different greatly from, it is not out of disrespect to the material.  Instead what the filmmakers have decided to do is create something entirely different, using the plot of the book simply as a launching point or logline for the kind of film they wanted to make. Continue reading

Jan 26 2010

Podcast 16: 2009 Top 10s

Benn and James list off their top 10 movies of the past year in podcast form.  I’d type them out, but that would take away all the fun of listening.

As usual the podcast is available for download on iTunes and Podcast Alley. Please leave a review there if you haven’t yet, we need more listeners. And you can always listen to it right here on our web page.

Lock, Stock, and Two Film Geeks Podcast


Jan 23 2010

Podcast Stuff

As you may have noticed, I’ve just reposted the last two episodes of the podcast.  This is because they didn’t show up in iTunes, so many people may have missed them.  Please go to iTunes in a day or so and download them if you haven’t heard them, it might not download both automatically since I’m posting both at once.

And on another note, the podcast is meant to have a new episode today, but it’s a bit long this time and I didn’t plan ahead enough.  Expect to see it in the next few days.

Jan 22 2010

Taking Stock 1/22/2010

We enter another week of “Taking Stock,” our weekly column in which the entire staff tells you what they think of the movies coming out this week based on very little knowledge and first impressions.


James: There’s something just off about this movie.  I can’t say quite why, but it certainly does not look good.

Benn:  On the one hand, this film looks really, really stupid.  On the other hand, angels and machine guns.  “The Prophecy” it may not be, but the nine year old in me is interested.

Dylan: It’s not Citizen Kane. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s killer grandma, icecream-man-bug and Paul Bettany’s abs. The jewel of this film, in my humble opinion, will be the always entertaining character actor Kevin Duran, who plays a mace-wielding Gabriel. I’m checking this one out.

Fil: This is a movie where I think the premise is interesting, but hollywood has just messed it up so badly that through the shitty CG and the bad dialogue and uninteresting characters, we’re going to get a terribly watered down version of what this movie could be.  I’ll be seeing it for the premise alone, but I have ZERO expectations. Continue reading

Jan 22 2010

Article XI – In Which I Do…Something, I Remember…Huh, Odd

I think the thing in the background is a robot.

Posting this from Vegas, ladies…try to keep it cool.

I’m writing this week’s column to the most epic soundtrack ever: Spice World The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.  So, if you want to follow along, children, you know what to do.  Head over to Youtube and start some Italian Western Music – it totally fits with the movie that I’m going to review for you!  I know what you all may be thinking, there are no Italian Science Fiction films, Fil.  You’re WRONG.  I forgive you, though, cuz I’m cool like that.  This week, I’m going to look at a Japanese Anime.

A Wind Named Amnesia came out when I was eight years old, if you want to do the math, I was born in 1985 – I’m not going to help you.  For more math – the film is 80 minutes long, and who wants to tell me how long it is in epochs?  Anyone?  HAH you fools, trick question!  An epoch is a subjective measure of time! (But then, the scientists would say, so are all measures of time.)

The film is centered around a day when a Wind blew and made every human in the world get amnesia instantaneously…AT THE SAME TIME.  Essentially, this reduces all of mankind to primitive creatures with no capacity for anything more than instinct.  I’m sure there’s a clever joke in there somewhere, but I’m definitely too lazy for it. Continue reading

Jan 19 2010


Bromance; a twentieth century term that describes the rambunctious platonic relationship between a man and “his boys.”  Although there have always been jokes about the borderline homoeroticism inherent to bromance, no one has ever presented it in the way writer/director Lynn Shelton has in Humpday.

Just as married couple Ben (Mark Duplass) and Anne (Alycia Delmore) call it a night, Ben’s old college friend Andrew (Josh Leonard) shows up unannounced.  Although the two revel in their shared past, its clear that both men are in two entirely different places and have little in common; Ben has settled into a suburban life complete with house, white picket fence, and the intention of raising a family, while Andrew has been living life on the road a la Kerouac as a wandering bohemian artist.

While out at a party, Ben and Andrew begin to drunkenly discuss Hump Fest, a local event in which amateurs submit artsy pornographic videos, and come up with the idea of videotaping themselves having sex with each other, as the idea of two heterosexual men engaged in homosexual activity is particularly edgy.  The next day, both men continue discussing the idea and become obsessed with it for different reasons; Andrew wants to finally see an artistic idea through to completion, and Ben wants to rebel against his own vanilla temperament that accompanies suburban living. Continue reading

Jan 18 2010

Spiderman, Spiderman, What Will Become of Spiderman?

Last week, Sam Raimi walked away from his contract with Sony to make the next three Spiderman films, and took the film series’ principle cast with him.  As a result, Sony is planning to reboot the series entirely.

Citing disagreements over deadlines and creative differences, Raimi decided to leave the project in Sony’s hands.  Currently, Sony has given screenwriter James Vanderbilt (The Rundown, Zodiac) the task of re-writing Spiderman.  Vanderbilt’s script reportedly focuses more on character than Raimi’s version, and will follow Peter Parker as he deals with the responsibilities of his newfound powers along with the everyday problems of being a high school student.  That’s right, Peter Parker is going back to high school.

Continue reading

Jan 15 2010

Article X – In Which I Try (Read: Succeed) to Escape this Column

Cloverfield totally didn't rip this off

Cloverfield totally didn't rip this off

Another week another column.  Apparently, there are a lot more science fiction movies that I had previously thought, according to Wikipedia.  I figured there may be like 2-3 per decade MAX.  Turns out there’s like 20 per YEAR.  Who could have known, right?

So, the 1980s have finally rolled around in my little random movie generator.  Yes, I have a very sophisticated method of picking which movies make the cut for this first round of columns.  Maybe I’ll tell you someday, when you’re old enough.  For now, the movie is Escape from New York.  The time: 1997 (now, the past future, and our real life past).  The awesome eye patch?  Luxurious hair?  Another movie with crazy gang members who do crazy stuff for no reason at all?  I THINK SO. Continue reading