Mar 31 2010


Whatever happened to the children of John Hughes, with their angst, their questions and their seemingly never-ending youth?  They grew up to find their answers only lead to more infuriating question, and growing up is never easy, no matter how old you are.

Cameron Crowe’s Singles is one of the first films to chronicle the burgeoning “Generation X”, a culture of grunge music, environmentalism, flannel, tattered jeans and relationship woes.  Singles focuses on two couples as they experience the trials and tribulations of being in relationships.  Neither relationship is what one would call typical, which provides a considerable (and sometimes unnecessary) amount of drama.  Steve and Linda (Campbell Scott and Kyra Sedgwick) are both instantly drawn towards one another, but their relationship is shaky at best, mostly due to Linda’s experience with dishonest men.  Janet and Cliff (Bridget Fonda and Matt Dillon) are the more entertaining, albeit lopsided couple, with Janet madly in love with Cliff, who’d prefer to keep it casual. Continue reading

Mar 30 2010

Article XX – In Which I Finally Do a Column with DINOSAURS!

This week, we have dinosaurs

I’m in the double X’s now.  I’m cracking open a Mexican brew as we speak to celebrate.  Do you want me to make a “Most Interesting Man in the World” joke?  I find myself unmoved by such an obvious and datable pop culture reference.  And beer doesn’t have anything to do with this week’s movie.  Oh god, where did I go so horribly wrong?  The lack of effort put forth in making this article a reality is over(under?)whelming.  I don’t even seem to care anymore.  What does XX stand for, like 2,000 right?  God, I’ve been doing this forever.

In case you hadn’t figured it out, this week’s movie is the black and white film Gojira.  Or for you English speakers out there – Godzilla.  I watched this movie with subtitles rather than with dubbing because I didn’t want to force myself to reference the terrible and clichéd dubbing that happens with kaiju films.  That’s not to say that the subbing was the most amazing translation either, there were some problems there, as well.  But whatever, the bottom line is I watched the film as it originally came out in 1958 – while surfing Facebook and texting all my friends fly honeys. Continue reading

Mar 25 2010

Taking Stock: 3/26/2010

We enter another week of “Taking Stock,” our weekly column in which the entire staff tells you what they think of the movies coming out this week based on very little knowledge and first impressions.

Hot Tub Time Machine

James: I’m super psyched for this, I love all the actors involved and the tongue-in-cheek nature of the comedy looks like a win-win situation for me.  I will be seeing this before weekend’s-end if possible.

Benn:  Too dumb to fail.  Go!

Dylan: This reminds me of “Snakes on a Plane,” awesome premise backed by even awesomer title, except this looks like it won’t try and take itself seriously. Seeing it at midnight!

Fil: Since I have no time or money, I’ll say I would love to see the hell right out of this, but am not going to be able to.  Yes, I think I shall use the sad face. =(

Anna: Not interested. Wouldn’t even rent it. Can’t stand John Cusack and it looks completely stupid.
Continue reading

Mar 24 2010

Paper Moon

Many know by now that I love a good con film.  Additionally, traditionally I’ve been someone who enjoys something with a healthy dose of comedy, rather than a deeply depressing genre.  So when I view a film like Paper Moon, a comedy/drama about a confidence man and a girl who may or may not be his daughter, it’s generally not hard to predict how I will feel about it ahead of time.  I’m not very familiar with the films of Peter Bogdanovich, who directed this film, nor the work of Ryan O’Neal, who stars in it.  Nor had I seen anything with Tatum O’Neal, who I assume is generally categorized as a child star because of films like this one, which was her debut (or perhaps it’s the nepotism — working with her father in this film certainly must have helped).  But I am of course a fan of the genre, and the presence of Madeline Kahn didn’t hurt either.

Continue reading

Mar 20 2010

Podcast 19: Time Travel

Triangle, Timecrimes, Primer, and Donnie Darko race to see which can gain the most of our favor on this episode about time travel movies.  With guests Ryan Smernoff and Vincent Tunzi.

As usual the podcast is available for download on iTunes and Podcast Alley. Please leave a review there if you haven’t yet, we need more listeners. And you can always listen to it right here on our web page.

Lock, Stock, and Two Film Geeks Podcast


Mar 19 2010

Article XIX – In Which I Pierce the Veil between Realities


For those of you who are wondering, yes, I had to ask someone yahoo answers how to make the nineteen in Roman numerals.  What a stupid numbering system.  You’d probably have to do the same.  And if you don’t, then you should probably write a novel.  You’re too smart to be reading this column.

You should all really thank me – my original plan was to review Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, but I decided that it would be better to leave that to another time.  Or, it could possibly be that I didn’t mail my last Netflix movie back in time to receive it.  It’s kind of like a Schrodinger equation – there’s a fifty/fifty chance of either happening, but right now, they are both happening at the same time.

Good lord am I tired.  The FREEview this week (clever, I know) is on the 85 minute long 1986 film From Beyond.   All my coolest fans will recognize this as an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story of the same name.  If any of you actually did recognize it – call me immediately, I need to marry you. Continue reading

Mar 17 2010


Biopics have a fairly standard structure; whether it’s about an aging musician or a troubled athlete, the presentation is often the same, and as of late, has become a boring.  Bronson begins with a fistfight between a naked convict and a group of prison guards.  If that doesn’t grab you by the balls, I don’t know what does.

Continue reading

Mar 15 2010

Most Anticipated of Summer 2010

Yes, that is Michael Cera with a flaming katana.

Summer is almost upon us, and I can’t help but admit this is my favorite time of year for movies.  I dig me a well made blockbuster.  So, what do we have to look forward to?  Well, quite a bit actually.  I took a look, starting with April and ending in August, to see what’s coming down the pipe and found at least fifteen or twenty movies that I’ll probably be seeing.  But there’s five HUGE movies that for me are completely unmissable.  See them after the jump. Continue reading

Mar 12 2010

Article XVIII – In Which My Title is Pretentiously Based on a Poem

Yes, this looks like an independent film

Well, it’s official. As of publishing, this column is legally able to buy porn and cigarettes.  On the internet, you see, weeks = years, so this week, Impossible is 18 years old. WOOOOOOOOO!!! Party time!  Send all your voting rights porn and cigarettes donations to the good people at Two Film Geeks.

Ah, who am I kidding? No one will send me money.  And if you did, the moderators would steal it for their drunken wino make out sessions podcasts.

This week I get to cover my first “Indie” movie.  Independent movie – for those of you not up on your film lingo.  Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind also has the honor of being the longest titled movie I’ve reviewed to date.  Man, this thing is just breaking records left and right.  And quit whining, you in the back. Avatar isn’t an indie film. Continue reading

Mar 11 2010

Taking Stock: 3/12/2010

We enter another week of “Taking Stock,” our weekly column in which the entire staff tells you what they think of the movies coming out this week based on very little knowledge and first impressions.  Also, today is James’ birthday!

Green Zone

James: This movie is basically a politically inclined Jason Bourne film, right?  I’m interested, but I wonder if it will do well enough at the box office.

Benn:  Looks way too much like The Bourne Identity, but I like Matt Damon, and I do did like Greengrass’ approach towards the last two Bourne films.  I’d see it, even if it is Jason Bourne Visits the Middle East.

Dylan: It’s what would happen if Jason Bourne didn’t have amnesia. Maybe some political commentary condemning the Middle East quagmire? Can’t really get excited to see this one.

Fil: You guys, Jason Bourne is Wolverine in a Matt Damon body.   That has nothing to do with whether I want to see this or not.  And I could really care less.

Anna: Now that I’ve seen the fuss concerning The Bourne Identity (yes, I know everyone is going to put that title in their stock – but how can you not?) I know I can skip this. I just didn’t care for Bourne, I just don’t care for Matt Damon, and I just don’t care to see another war movie with epileptic-inducing trailers. Continue reading