Jan 7 2010

Taking Stock 1/8/2010

We enter our third week of “Taking Stock,” our weekly column in which the entire staff tells you what they think of the movies coming out this week based on very little knowledge and first impressions.  Fil and Dylan haven’t gotten to this just yet this week, but check back to this article and you may find their opinions added.


James: Vampires mixed with The Matrix is the kind of thing that looks great on paper, and with a cast like this you’d think it might be good.  But why does the trailer give me a bad feeling?  The fact that it’s January is probably enough reason not to see this.

Benn: I’m pretty vampired out, to tell you the truth, but the premise does look interesting, and the vampires don’t appear to sparkle in daylight, which is always a plus.

Dylan: It’s been a while since a vampire movie came out in which the vampires weren’t total pussies or dipshits. I like the direction this film is taking. The trailer looks exciting, and this will be a good break from the serious, academy films we’re being blitzed with.

Fil:I’ll be honest.  This does not look like a good movie at all.  I don’t think I particularly want to see it.  But the premise looks interesting enough and is a nice reversal of the “creatures of the night” stereotype we get for vampires.  I just don’t see this going far.  Fun to watch though.

Youth in Revolt

James: I don’t hate Michael Cera, in fact I think he’s funny.  While he’s a little over saturated at the moment, if I saw any of these films, it’d probably be this one.

Benn: No no no no no.  Trying to lose your virginity is not a revolt, and Michael “One-Note” Cera is not a leader of any revolt.  And his bad boy alter ego?  His mustache looks like a smattering of bread crumbs and he has no charm whatsoever.  I’m really getting tired of Cera’s ironic coolness; being painfully awkward and uncool doesn’t make you cool, it makes you painfully awkward and uncool.  Period.

Dylan:I don’t understand why everyone is hating on George Micheal. I think he’s a great actor, albeit his “Michael Cera” character is starting to become stale. This could be the movie that breaks George Michael’s mold… or not.

Fil:  I have no problem with people who are a one-note joke…as long as that one joke is funny.  And Michael Cera is funny.  You guys are all haters because you wish you were as cooly uncool as he is.  I’ll probably be seeing this.

Leap Year

James:  Looks like a formulaic Romantic Comedy.  These usually work in a formulaic way, and I love Amy Adams, but I think I’ll pass unless I have a date who wants to see it.

Benn:  Everytime I see this trailer, I truly feel like I want to vomit.

Dylan:I consulted my physician, and she told me if I wanted to avoid stomach pain and brain aneurysms, I should not see this film(?)

Fil: I watched the trailer.  Here’s what my mind put together: Once a year (Feb 29th) the ghost of Amy Adams’ character gets 24 hours to avenger her murder at the hands of Matthew Goode.  I’d watch that.

Crazy on the Outside [limited]

James: Looks like it could be an entertaining light rental, but not much more.  I’d wait to see just how badly the critics lay into it.

Benn:  The premise doesn’t look bad, but it doesn’t look all that great either.  The fact that Tim Allen stars and is directing the film really doesn’t instill me with much faith.

Dylan:The fact that Tim Allen is directing AND staring in this venture should have me worried, but the trailer makes me kind of want to see it. And by “kind of want to see it,” I mean Netflix it and watch it alone in my room to avoid any possible shame from the outside.

Fil:  I’d cheat on Kelsey Grammer with Tim Allen.  I’d also watch this movie proudly and nakedly.

Wonderful World [LA/NY]

James:  This movie appears to not know what it’s trying to be.   I see a lot of The Visitor in this, but I’m sure it’s not nearly as subtle.

Benn: Eh.  Greenberg looks better.

Dylan:No thank you.

Fil:  I like Matthew Broderick.  I wouldn’t say no to watching this.  But I wouldn’t pay and/or spend the time to sneak in either.  You solve my dilemma.

Bitch Slap [LA/NY/SF]

James: “BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the B Movie/Exploitation films.”  Seriously?

Benn:  At first, this looks like an exploitation film with a sense of humor about itself, but I get this sneaking suspicion that this is little more than the film version of on of those “Go Daddy Go” commercials.  Stick with Planet Terror.

Dylan:This looks so trashy, I’m surprised Green Peace hasn’t tried to destroy the prints. This looks like the dark side of little Michael’ Bay’s wildest fantasy.

Fil:  Don’t get me wrong – this looks terrible.  But I’d rather pay to see this than any of the other movies coming out this weekend.  You will have fun.  See you there.

3 Responses to “Taking Stock 1/8/2010”

  • Mike Lukenbill Says:

    I didn’t think Bitch Slap was taking itself seriously until I read James’ comment. The trailer looks funny enough.

  • Mike Lukenbill Says:

    and Fil, a couple years ago Daybreakers would be a wet dream for you. This seems like one of those ideas where film may not be the best medium to execute it without it being ridiculous.

  • James Goux Says:

    @Mike In the movie’s defense, I’m pretty sure that quote I pulled was tongue-in-cheek, but I still had to put it up because it was so ridiculous.

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